


Of the Ardent Sun

by kenzieann27



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No IT (King), Beverly Marsh is So Done, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mentioned Losers Club (IT), Polyamory, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Soft Stanley Uris, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27783145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenzieann27/pseuds/kenzieann27
Summary: Richie and Eddie begin to question their relationship and what exactly that thing is that neither of them want to talk about, while Stanley struggles with his own feelings and the loneliness of being left out.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Stanley Uris, Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33





	Of the Ardent Sun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Olsies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olsies/gifts).



> For the lovely Ollie! Hopefully this is just as okay as it sounded in my head.
> 
> Me: says I'm going to use exclamation points  
> Also me: only uses one

Richie wasn't sure how to put it into words when he first realized it. It had crept up on him so slowly, yet so quickly, that it was hard to think of a time when it didn't make sense. It almost felt like forever ago, even if it was only a month ago, but to a frustrated seventeen-year-old, anything seemed like forever.

They had done it so many times before that it should have been just another sleepover and just another time when they were sharing the same bed Richie, for the past few days before, had started to doubt their strictly platonic relationship and those less-than-platonic feelings in his heart. The way he wrinkled his nose when he laughed that perfect laugh, the way he rolled those deep brown eyes, the way he would ramble on about subjects Richie wouldn't care about at all, but he did, because _he_ was the one talking about them. Everything, _everything_ , seemed to change in ways Richie was unaware of at first, but the realization came crashing down on him soon enough.

So, Richie being Richie, he pushed those feelings so far back into his soul that it almost hurt him whenever he caught a glimpse of the owner of those perfectly blonde curls coming his way for a conversation that he'd play over and over in his head for the rest of the day. Richie knew he was just torturing himself with those desperate looks, those fleeting gazes that he wanted to be returned more than anything. He knew that he could never be loved the way he loved that boy, never in a million years, so, day after day, month after month, he learned to live with that ache of a heart unloved.

He felt nothing but guilt after a while, even after a new person made their way into his heart and called it home. Richie was able to love Eddie the same with everything he thought he had, but he could tell that it was never enough. Richie did love him, he knew he could be- and was- more than happy with Eddie. He loved the way Eddie always, always had that distinct smell of the cheap fabric softener his mom would buy, he loved the way Eddie meticulously combed his hair in the morning to make sure it was as neat as it could possibly be, he loved the way Eddie would always share some of his lunch with Richie at school as his way of claiming it to be a lunch date (even if Richie couldn't stand ham sandwiches).

Richie loved and needed them both just as deeply, so deeply, in ways that he didn't even know existed. Ways that broke him every morning when he thought of telling them, of having to choose between them.

And Eddie, as clever as always, could tell that something was always off in their relationship, even now a year into it. They never fought, no, but there was this lingering feeling of incompleteness that loomed over everything. That, although they were happy with each other, it didn't feel quite right when there was another person in his mind.

It was Eddie who finally broke down and admitted it, and it was Richie left to be the bearer of uncomfortable news.

"The door's locked," a familiar voice called from a familiar place, causing Richie to step off the front poor and round the corner of the house.

"Is that why you climbed your tree, Staniel? Trying to break into your own house?" Richie smiled nervously as he offered Stan a small wave, groaning at his response of a flashlight beam to the face.

"What are you doing here, Richie?" Stan asked, only choosing to continue the conversation because he was curious about the loudmouth's response. "And, for the record, I don't need to climb the tree next to my bedroom window to break into my house."

"I think _I_ should be the only one climbing into your bedroom window at night, Stanny."

"Yeah, well, I think _I_ asked you a question."

"I just want to talk, that's all," Richie said, which wasn't entirely untrue, but he didn't want to open the conversation with a statement that not even he knew how to put into words just yet. Stan, Richie knew, was quite ironically like those strange birds he loved so much; it takes effort to approach this anxious creature without him wanting to fly off. You never got second chances with Stan, no do-overs. This was Richie's shot to do this, to admit the unthinkable things that he'd been ignoring for the last year and a half, and he was astutely aware that, at the same time, Stanley Uris was calculating every possible way of escaping the obviously uncomfortable conversation that was happening. "Are we not allowed to talk?"

"That depends on what you want to talk about."

"Well, for starters, why are you stuck in your tree instead of in your house? Y'know, like every other person on this gross-ass summer night," Richie said, waving his arms as if he were making a snow angel in the air.

"I don't know," Stan shrugged. "I couldn't sleep. I always come out here when I can't sleep, I just grab a book and enjoy the silence for a while."

"You could always just call me if you can't sleep. I've been told I'm a fantastic talker, even if it is out of my ass most of the time."

"You've been avoiding me," Stan replied flatly. "I get that you're dating Eddie, so he's going to take up a lot of your time, but… you don't get to just ignore everyone and think they're going to be fine with it."

Richie nodded, despite knowing Stan didn't really ask for a response to his painfully clear statement. Still, though, he needed the extra time to come up with something to say after Stan had told him something he hadn't exactly told anyone before. "Did Eddie tell you?"

"I don't get why he's been trying to get all on my good side lately, but it's sort of getting on my nerves," he sighed, returning the flashlight beam back to Richie's face. "If I were you, I'd keep a tighter leash on my boyfriend. It's like he _wants_ me to come between you two. It's annoying."

"You can't say that shit and not expect me to laugh," Richie snickered, visualizing Stan's words in his mind.

"Well, not all of us have as perverted of minds as you do, Richard."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Richie shrugged, watching as Stan covered his face once more with his thick book. "I'm sorry for avoiding you. I- I didn't mean to, but it's… complicated."

"If you're not going to have a meaningful conversation with me, I would advise you to leave. This is a long chapter and I don't want more stupid distractions."

"I don't know how to say it, Stan," Richie admitted, feeling a bit defeated as Stan continued to hide behind his book. "It's… I don't fucking- you broke me. Like, I don't even know how to- I don't know! I just… I don't know."

Intrigued by Richie's stammering, Stan closed his book, though stayed put in his safe place up in the tree. "This must be something special if it causes _you_ to not be able to form a complete sentence."

"I'm… Stan, just- just hear me out, alright?" Richie pleaded. "This is going to sound crazy and stupid and completely out of nowhere, but I need you to just listen because I think it's making me a little crazy, too."

"Richie…"

"Stanley, you- you're one of the best people I know," Richie began, already noticing Stan becoming a little taken aback just at the use of his full first name; it's a sentiment that neither of them recall Richie ever doing before, erasing any doubts that Stan had in his mind of this being anything less than a crucial moment in both their lives. "I swear, just- just the thought of you makes my day better. The way you talk for _hours_ about your stupid birds, the way you hold you own hand sometimes to keep it from shaking, the way you get all frustrated when you get a loose piece of your hair that just won't cooperate. I know those things don't matter, they shouldn't matter, but it's- it keeps me up at night. It makes me feel horrible for all those times I got too close to you, like when we used to have sleepovers or when we'd go swimming down at the quarry. I'd just- I'd stare when I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't not stare when it was you. But I knew that, y'know, it was _you_ , so I just couldn't do anything. I couldn't ignore it, so I ignored you and hoped for the best and Eddie came along and just- he made things better, but I-"

"Richie," Stan interrupted, nearly dropping his book due to the wave of overwhelming shock that wracked his mind. "I don't… what are you even talking about?"

"I love you," Richie blurted out, taking a breath as he realized he finally, finally, _finally_ said what he could not have said for the past year and a half of knowing. _Oh my God_ , he thought. _Oh my fucking God_.

Stan was just as surprised at Richie's admission, though he could have said he wasn't as surprised at the words themselves as he was at the fact Richie actually said them. Knowing Richie since, well, forever, Stan had his suspicions when Richie decided last year to act as though Stan barely existed, with their main interactions being those quick moments of eye contact after Stan caught him staring. He wanted to say something, anything, to the kid he once called his best friend, but he never knew how to form those sentences when he knew whatever words he'd offer would only make Richie feel worse and retreat further away. So, like Richie, he remained silent on the topic, letting him grow bitter at the loss of his best friend as he found someone new to smile with and laugh with and, and-

No. No, it didn't matter. Richie was just Richie, just a stupid friend who did dumb things and was acting quite idiotic lately, that's all there was to it. Stan didn't care about the loss of those looks he'd give him, the way he'd adjust his glasses only for them to fall back down his nose five seconds later. He didn't care, couldn't care, because if he did, if he really did, then it would mean more than Stan wanted to ever think about. It would mean that Stan- perfectly normal, perfectly straight, perfectly perfect Stan- it would mean… it would mean…

Oh.

_Oh._

"Oh," Stan muttered, almost feeling his heart fall out of his chest at the realization of what all of this meant. "I- Richie, you do know you're with Eddie, right?"

"No, no, I know that," Richie sighed, feeling a wave of relief wash over him, knowing that Stan didn't just leave him out here in disgust over what Richie had told him. He was still here, he was listening, and he wasn't completely rejecting him. _This is good, this is good_. "I just- he knows, like, Eddie is… he told me to come over here."

Stan just nodded at the statement, still feeling at a loss for words at, well, _everything_ , causing Richie to continue when he realized Stan wasn't going to respond verbally. "I know it's crazy, I- I mean, I did tell you it was going to be crazy. Things are going good with Eddie, like really good. And I, uh, I mean that in, like- I don't just mean in a sex way or anything, which I know you think is all I think about, but- God, this is awkward," Richie stammered, waving his arms in an attempt to shake off some of the anxiety running through his body. "What I'm trying to say is that even though things are good, I think we both know that something is missing, like, not that we don't love each other, but I think we both know that, well, there's someone else."

"I don't- I'm not going to be the person that causes you and Eddie to break up, Richie."

"It's not that, Stan, really. Eddie feels the same way- well, maybe not as poetic or emotional about it- but he likes you, too. And it's fine if you don't understand or you think we're both completely insane and weird and disgusting because I don't think I care anymore. I'm- we're tired of just having to pretend we're fine when we want more from this. We want to have our feelings known even if it ruins everything because we can't hide anymore and you can hate me forever for this, Stan, but I had to say it, okay? I just couldn't take it anymore."

"I don't think I really understand what you're saying," Stan said, shaking his head. "Are- are you saying things aren't going well with Eddie because of me? If so, Richie, I don't know what I'm-"

"No, no, Stan, no, it's- things are great, really," Richie quickly interrupted, not wanting Stan to get the wrong idea of why he came here tonight. "It's just that, uh… I think for so long we've been Richie and Eddie, right? So, like, it's just one thing. And, even though things are going great, Richie and Eddie are just- I don't know. It's so hard to put this into words when I don't even know how to say it myself, really."

"You're lonely."

Stan wasn't sure how to say it before, not even to himself, but the words that Richie had rambled out just made the entire thing click for him. It made him realize that, maybe, he wasn't alone in his feelings, that Richie understood that heart-wrenching guilt over being happy and sad at the same time.

"Not just you as Richie, but you as Richie and Eddie," Stan continued as Richie looked up at him solemnly. "This is… a lot, really. When I saw you walking down the sidewalk, I was not prepared for you to say all of this, Richie, but it is a lot to think about. I don't know what I am really supposed to do, or what you want me to do, but thank you for saying it instead of being your usual idiot self and bottling it up."

"I wasn't expecting you to get all soft with me, Staniel," Richie smiled. "You don't have to do anything, really. Eddie was the one that made me come over here since he was the one that actually said the words that we'd been dancing around forever. It was strange to hear him talk about you like that, I think, but I understood everything he was saying. About how strong you are and how you always make him laugh with that stupid look of yours, like, you're so serious."

"I never really thought of Eddie like that, either, though I guess that's just because I never imagined I'd be talking to you about this- or anyone, for that matter. I admire how passionate Eddie is about things, how he loves things so deeply, even if he'd just be rambling on about cars or his dad or even just whatever dumb medical fact he learned," Stan commented, wanting to will away the blush that he felt rising to his cheeks if only to spare him the ridicule from Richie. "Or me, apparently."

"Oh, sure, you get all sweet and nice when it's Eddie," Richie said, feigning offense at his best friend's words. "I'm the one that came over here and poured out my entire heart for you, Stanny. Letting you know that Eddie and I have a pillow princess-shaped hole in our hearts."

"Oh my God," Stan scoffed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to ignore the things he was very clearly hearing. "I- do secrets mean nothing anymore?"

"Hey, don't look at me like that. It's not my fault that when Bev and Eddie get together nothing is sacred anymore."

"One fucking time," he groaned, shaking his head at Richie's snickering. "I ask her for help one fucking time- I was confused, okay? I wasn't sure if I was actually gay, so- why the hell am I even explaining it to you when you already know this shit? Mike and Ben were already dating people at the time, and I wasn't about to go and ask Bill when he'd probably just cry about it after, so I went with Bev because there was a good chance I wasn't going to go and catch feelings for her or anything. It was weird, it was bad, nothing she did helped because, you know, Beverly's a girl."

"You know I would have been more than happy to help you out with that," Richie winked, causing Stan to throw his small notebook at him.

"At the time, _you_ weren't even an option that crossed my mind," he shrugged. "You or Eddie. I- I don't know why I didn't think about you two, I was probably afraid you'd say no or something. So, I didn't say anything. A classic Tozier move when it comes to my emotions."

Nodding, Richie offered Stan a soft smile as he bent down to grab the notebook, brushing off the cover. "Well, I mean, what do you say now?"

"I don't know," Stan replied softly. "I can count the number of people that know I'm gay on one hand, Richie, and I don't- I'm scared of what my parents would think when they realize not only is their only son gay, but he's also in a relationship with two other people. It's even a scary thought for me, like, it sounds nice, really, but I can't just make this decision right now."

"So…?" Richie asked, not sure how to leave things when he wasn't getting a solid answer.

"It's not a no, but it's also not a yes," Stan reasoned, eyeing the window of his bedroom that he left slightly open after making his way out here. "It's a soft maybe. A very, very soft maybe."

"Almost as soft as you, then," Richie smiled, nodding in understanding at the answer he knew wasn't the one he wanted to hear but also was one he was surprised to hear when he had believed he would get nothing but a hard no from the boy that ironed his shorts. _I guess I do owe Eddie five bucks after all_.

"And that is only a maybe because I know Eddie would murder you with his bare hands if you went back to him with anything less," Stan said, giggling at the thought.

"Glad to know my death seems so funny to you," Richie replied, tossing the notebook back at Stan, who caught it almost effortlessly. "Laughing at the thought of my boyfriend killing me- you are crazy, Stanley, you know that?"

"Yeah," Stan nodded as he looked Richie up and down with that slightly warm, slightly lopsided smile that Richie knew all too well. "I think I am aware of that."

**Author's Note:**

> let bev peg stan 2k20
> 
> come yell at me on tumblr! @kenzie-ann27


End file.
